Is mercury in retrograde? Because my emotions have been a mess recently.
I’ve been anything but peaceful - tumultuous, instead, with my mood all over the place. One day I’m panicking about not having a purpose, the next I’m panicking about my childhood trauma or running out of money, or my boyfriend not texting me back.
“You need to learn to chill,” my boyfriend says.
And I agree.
Yet, how do you tell an anxious and over-active mind to “chill” and stop panicking every second? How do you tell a heavily traumatized mind that what you perceive as a life-or-death situation is not, in reality, a life-or-death situation, and thus, is not worth fight-or-flighting over?
It’s rather difficult.
A novel called “The Flatshare” describes it well. In it, the woman protagonist struggles with PTSD and panic attacks from her previous abusive relationship, yet continues to get triggered in her new romantic encounters. Her nervous system detects every intimate relationship as a Danger even when that is not accurate.
I am very similar.
So, how do people like us learn to take it easy more?
I found that nature helps.
Don’t you feel at ease just looking at this photo?
This was taken at one of the parks near my house. I noticed that even when I don’t feel like it, exercise and movement always make me feel better. A breath of fresh air, being surrounded by oxygen-releasing trees and seeing other people lounging around in the park tend to release some tension in me.
I’ve also started painting more recently - though I am not very good at it.
But the act of painting feels good. And I’m trying to remind myself that whether I’m good at it doesn’t matter. What matters is I am happy doing it. Mixing different colors, creating different patterns, getting paints all over my hands makes me feel like a kid again. And I love fulfilling my inner child.
I’ve also been finding solace in music, particularly Lorde’s Solar Power album. I know I’ve written about the album before, but it truly feels transformational. It brings me peace, especially as I wake up.
Isn’t it calming? It’s almost like you can hear the ocean waves in the distance.
And this song by NIKI as well:
Lastly, I’ve also been making good use of my bathtub, adding lavender scent essential oils, and allowing myself to indulge, relax, and exhale after a long day.
Hopefully, engaging in these regular calming routines may help me chill more, and not always be worked up and ready to fight a war.
Do you guys do anything to relieve anxiety and find peace in an otherwise chaotic world?
Much love as always,
margherita x